To Heart and Home
by Lanthiriel25
Summary: After leaving the Ponderosa and exploring the world, Adam decides it's time to return home to his father and his brothers, to make his heart whole again. Originally posted on Bonanza World.


Summary: After leaving the Ponderosa and exploring the world, Adam decides it's time to return home to his family. Originally posted on Bonanza World.

Warnings: None

Disclaimer: Writing is mine, everything else belongs to NBC and David Dortort. For entertainment only.

* * *

**To Heart and Home**

_by Lanthiriel25_

"Good night Daniel."

"Night Adam, see you tomorrow."

With a smile Adam nodded as he left the office, clicking the door shut behind him. Sighing he drew his hand wearily over his face; it'd been a long day. In fact, they had all been long days recently he reflected as he made his way down the stone steps to the street, joining the bustling people all eager to get home before the night chill set in. He'd known setting up an architectural company would be hard work but he couldn't remember the last time he'd slept for six hours straight; it was almost as bad as being a ranch worker in cattle season. Pulling his coat higher about his neck, Adam thrust his hands deep into his pockets, wondering why on earth he hadn't brought his gloves with him. A wry smile curved at his lips as he remembered when Joe had given him those gloves.

* * *

"_Surprise!" Joe laughed, brandishing a hastily wrapped parcel in Adam's face._

_Jerking with the suddenness and exuberance of Joe's actions, Adam's coffee nearly ended up in his lap, but luckily his reflexes kicked in, and was able to save himself from getting drenched._

_"Joe, calm down!" he mock-admonished, as he quickly set aside his cup. "Honestly, you'd think you were half your actual age."_

_Joe laughed that care-free laugh of his, his eyes dancing as he pushed the package into Adam's now free hands. "Better than acting twice your actual age, big brother!" he jibed, with a taunting smile._

_"Joe." Ben warned, glancing over the top of the book his reading._

_Biting back a retort, Adam turned his attention to Joe's parcel. Adam knew there were precious few days left before he travelled back East to pursue his dreams, and was eager to enjoy every minute before that time._

_He had been so shocked when Ben had explained to him that whilst he would miss him terribly, he knew what it was to dream, and to have that dream realised. He only wanted happiness for his son, and if that meant letting him go then that was what he would do, no matter how much it broke his heart. Hoss has been equally understanding. He had noticed his older brother becoming more distant, as if his thoughts were increasingly elsewhere. Adam had thought he hadn't been that obvious, that he'd hidden his musings better than that, but obviously not, it seemed. Crushing his older brother into a hug Hoss had set Adam's heart at ease, relieving him of his 'big brother' obligations, setting him free to simply be Adam, and not just the eldest Cartwright son._

_Joe however had been another matter entirely. He'd avoided Adam initially, reliving his heartbreak of when his eldest brother left for college; back then Adam had been his hero and it hurt the sad, confused little boy when he went away for so long. As much as he didn't really want to though, Joe did understand; he understood Adam more than he was ever given credit for, but that didn't mean he had to like the fact that his brother, whom he idolised, was leaving him, leaving all of them, again. Eventually however, after a few heated arguments and tearful conversations, Joe seemed to accept Adam's need to explore new horizons, even if he wasn't particularly happy about it. Life in the Cartwright household had become much less strained after that, with Joe throwing himself whole-heartedly into making Adam's last few weeks before departing memorable._

_Feeling the settee give a little as Joe slumped down next to him, Adam was jolted back to the present. Turning his attention once more to the item in his hands, he carefully unwrapped the brown paper, revealing a pair of doeskin gloves. Picking one up Adam felt the soft material beneath his fingers; they were such good quality._

_"Joe…" he began falteringly as he saw the eagerness in Joe's eyes. How could he remind Joe that Hoss had given him a brand new pair of gloves for his last birthday? Not wanting to hurt Joe's feelings he simply smiled. "Thanks Joe."_

_Sensing Adam's hesitation, Joe rolled his eyes, pulling away the wrapping paper. "I know you've already got a pair, the ones Hoss gave you, but here's the way I see it…" he stated, scrunching the paper in his hand as he leant forward conspiratorially. "You're always telling me to take spare gloves, cos you can never be too prepared. Well, it's time you listened to your own advice big brother!" Joe taunted with a wink._

_Ben, who had been feigning disinterest throughout the whole exchange couldn't help but chuckle at Adam's warnings being good-naturedly being thrown back in his face._

_"He's got a point son." he laughed._

* * *

And now here he was, Adam thought wryly, in the cold with neither pair of gloves. He could only imagine the teasing he would get if Joe knew. Shaking his head ruefully at the thought he made his way through the busy streets, thinking of the warm, cosy room which waited for him.

* * *

He let out a soft sigh as he felt the bitter but refreshingly hot coffee work its way down his throat, warming him from the inside out. He was sitting at his desk in his small, but homely, flat. Numerous architectural designs and diagrams littered his desk and the walls, but true to type the rest of the room was spotlessly neat. Glancing at the clock he resolutely decided there was just enough time to complete the final measurements for the down-town library extension before turning in. Stifling a yawn, he valiantly ignored the headache beginning behind his eyes. He set his coffee aside and pulled the plans towards him, hoping this wouldn't be as difficult to coordinate as the last extension he'd worked on.

An hour later he was fighting the urge to tear it all up and start all over again, despite his more sensible, restrained side telling him that that would be more of a hindrance than a help. Pinching the bridge of his nose as his headache increased, he roughly pushed the papers aside for one day. He was no stranger to hard work or adversity, far from it; Adam Cartwright thrived on and relished a challenge, never a man to back down, but he was exhausted, bone-weary, although he surmised it was his brain that was tired not his body. He'd almost forgotten all the physical aches and pains one gets from working on a ranch.

Leaning back in his chair he closed his eyes. The Ponderosa. Home. It was his father's dream, and he'd come out here to realise his. He'd toured the world, sailed across many seas, walked on many lands, conversed with many people; his soul had flown free. He had seen worlds he'd never imagined, learned things he'd only ever dreamed of. Seeing just how much there was out there to be explored, all that knowledge to be gained, adventures to be had, it stirred his heart, and he was so grateful that his father and brothers had loved him enough to let him experience all those things.

But the months had turned into years as he journeyed across the world, until he'd found himself back in Boston. But the allure of the city had lessened, the beauty of sunsets dimmed. It had been five years since he'd seen his family, and those years were beginning to make themselves known. He'd been gone longer than he'd expected, much longer than planned, and part of him feared that the blessing with which he had left would no longer hold true. He had said he would return, but would he be welcome after so long? It had been months since his last letter from home.

Was it really his home anymore? Hoss had always said that home was where the heart is, and in affairs of the heart and soul, Hoss was never wrong. When he'd left the Ponderosa, to explore and grow, he'd left a part of his heart behind, with his Pa, with Hoss and with Joe. He hadn't noticed its absence at first; there was so much to see and do, to learn, experience and enjoy; now in his weary state, he felt that missing piece of his heart keenly.

Rising from his desk chair he stooped to retrieve the contents of his bottom drawer of his bedside table. Laying them out on his immaculately made bed, he felt his breath hitch as he allowed himself to properly look at and see these things since he embarked on his dreams. Picking up the nearest item he felt a soft smile curve on his face; his hat. Outside of the West wearing such a hat would be seen as highly irregular, but Adam hadn't been able to bear leaving it behind, so he had stashed it away as a treasure, a reminder of home. He ran his fingers along the brim, fingering the cold, metal studs around the band. He could still smell the faint scent of pine which clung to the black material. So many memories. He missed Joe's hysterical laughter, Hoss' speeches about the genius of Hop Sing's cooking, Pa's rich, commanding voice.

Next there was his gunbelt and pistol. One thing he certainly didn't miss was the violence, the living in constant fear for your own and your family's lives, but now he considered it, how much harder it is to know that your loved ones are still in that danger and you are not stood beside them, defending them.

Feeling a lump forming in his throat, Adam swallowed hard, before reaching out with trembling hands to the neatly tied bundle of letters and gifts Ben, Hoss and Joe had sent him over the years. Carefully Adam pulled the string which bound them, studying each precious one, soon losing himself in the words, in the lives of his family. He read of Ben's new business endeavours where he asked Adam for his thoughts on certain timber contracts, Hoss's news of newborn animals and his detailed descriptions of the changing seasons on the Ponderosa, Joe's chattering of the latest bar-room brawl, his latest scheme of some sort or another, which Adam just knew would be driving both Pa and Hoss to distraction.

He read long into the night as the lamp dimmed. He remembered all the letters he had sent them, detailing his pursuits, describing the places and people he encountered; he'd written so enthusiastically and joyously, he still did in fact, but his analytical mind was finally beginning to comprehend. He'd done what he'd set out to do, experienced everything he'd ever dreamed of and more, lived an amazing five years, but now…now he was ready to return to the Ponderosa, to his family. It was time for him to go home, and put his heart back together.

* * *

The sun drifted in through the small window, sending down a shaft of light across the bed, warming Adam's face. Stirring slightly, Adam's hand tightened on the latest letter from Hoss, a look of pure contentment marking his features. As he drifted towards wakening he rolled into his back. Feeling something oddly shaped beneath him, he blearily opened his eyes, as he pulled out his holster from under his back. Slowly sitting up he raked his hand though his hair, making it stick out at odd angles. He couldn't help the broad smile which tugged at the corners of his mouth. He hadn't slept that well in weeks; he finally felt at peace with himself. He was going home.

* * *

Of course, it was not as easy as all that; he couldn't just up and leave, there was the business to sort out, contracts to complete, the logistics of travelling to consider. There was a lot of work left to do before he could leave Boston behind, but Adam felt a new spring in his step as he approached the office building that morning. Pausing at the foot of the steps he gazed at the plaque nailed to the fence outside, 'Butterworth and Cartwright Architectural Enterprise'. The golden lettering glittered in the morning sun. Feeling the crisp air reddening his cheeks, Adam drew his hand along his jaw. This was going to be the hardest part of leaving. Never one to shy away from a difficult encounter, Adam took a deep breath, bracing himself to meet it head on.

"Adam"

"Morning Daniel"

Closing the door behind him, Adam noticed the pile of paperwork already stacked high on his desk.

"Have you got a minute?" he queried, watching as Daniel sorted through the mountain of his own.

"Anything to put off this paperwork! What is it?" Daniel replied, with a smile, pushing aside the paper, resting his elbows on the table, giving Adam his full attention.

Leaning against the edge of his own desk, Adam swallowed, trying to find the words. "Daniel, I am honoured to have you as a business partner, and count myself lucky that I can also call you a friend. Whilst this venture of ours has been arduous at times, I'm glad we took the chance and built this business together." Adam paused, trying to gauge Daniel's reaction to what he was building up to say.

"Me too Adam. It certainly hasn't been easy, but it's been worth the stress and hard work. Just look at what we've achieved!" Daniel gestured across the street to the church they had both helped renovate; it was an endeavour Adam was particularly proud of.

Adam smiled. "I know, which makes what I've got to say difficult…You see, I've been doing some soul-searching and I want…I need to return home. It's time for me to head back West." He paused. "Don't worry. I'll stay, finish up all the existing contracts, complete all my responsibilities, but I guess what I'm trying to ask is…will you buy me out?" Adam glanced up at Daniel, hoping he wasn't asking too much.

Daniel cleared his throat, leaning back in his chair, his expression a picture of shock; he seemed more than a little blindsided. "Adam, I…"

"I'll stay as long as you need me to," Adam reassured, "but my part of the business, it's yours".

Daniel nodded numbly.

"You do understand, don't you?" Adam stepped forward earnestly, hoping his decision wouldn't lose him a dear friend.

The scraping of Daniel's chair echoed through the office as he stood, striding over to Adam, clapping him on the back with a friendly smile; the news was unexpected but not unfathomable.

"I understand. You've lived your dream, forged your own way, and now it's time to return to that irrepressible family of yours."

"Thanks Daniel," Adam breathed in relief, extending his hand to his friend. Returning the handshake Daniel chuckled, surprised that Adam had imagined any other outcome to the conversation than this one. Guess that's what comes from being so analytical, systematically assessing every option, he surmised.

* * *

Two months later Adam had completed his obligations to the company, sold his flat, packed up his most crucial belongings and began the long trek back West. He'd caught numerous stages, but although he wanted to see Ben, Hoss and Joe as soon as he could, he wanted to enjoy the last part of the journey, travel by road, ease back into being a 'cowboy', get used to the idea of this life once again. Whilst he didn't completely doubt his family's reception of him, he felt he needed time and space to adjust in himself before seeing them again. He'd deliberately not told them of his plans to return; he didn't want the expectation or deadline to get back for. He was happy that he was on his way home, and that he would get there in his own pace.

* * *

Galloping through the trees, he pulled his hat lower on his brow, to stop the wind from tearing it from his head. He felt the exhilarating thrill of a high speed ride thrum through him as he listened to the rhythmic pounding of the horse's hooves. He felt alive, more alive than he had for a long time as the pine-scented wind tugged though his shirt, whipping at his face.

The mountains rose up majestically, cutting into the clear, blue skyline, behind the tall, proud trees which decorated the landscape. It was beautiful, all of God's creation laid out in front of him. Drinking in the wondrous sights all around him, Adam felt his soul stir. He'd never felt a particular affinity with nature like Hoss did but at this moment the pure joy he felt at being surrounded by such splendour took his breath away. He'd spent long weeks of riding over rough terrain and uncomfortable nights on the trail, but all the weariness fell away as he took in the scenery. Reining in his horse to a slower gait he dismounted, leading the creature behind him as he relished the idea of being in his home country once more.

After some hours of idle wandering he realised he wasn't a long distance from the far side of Lake Tahoe; another day and he'd be home. Eagerly mounting up once more he rode until the lake stretched out before him. He stayed there for a while just reflecting, thinking about what he had done, his brothers, his Pa, unable to fully believe that he would see them again so soon.

When the setting sun began to dust the mountain tops a deep pink, Adam decided it was time to bed down for the night. Folding his hands behind his head Adam lay on his back, gazing peacefully up at the sky until darkness fell and the stars decorated the sky. He couldn't help but smile as he remembered Ben's words to him as a child. 'The sooner you go to sleep, the sooner tomorrow will come'. In a couple of days he would see his family, and the usually so patient Adam Cartwright couldn't wait.

Despite the excitement and hard ground, the days of hard travelling caused Adam to fall asleep quickly, resting peacefully until the sun as half way up into the sky and a familiar sound cut through his slumber, startling him into awakening.

* * *

"Hoss, hurry up with those planks, we don't have all day!"

"Now come on Joe, I'm goin' as fast as I can!"

"I've seen snails with sunstroke move faster than you!"

Shaking his head sharply, as if to determine whether he was really awake, Adam pushed himself to sitting as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. He glanced around; did he just hear what he thought he did? Hearing his brothers' voices again he snapped his head around to the direction they came from. Stiff from sleeping on the cold, hard ground, he stood gingerly, and made his way cautiously to where Hoss and Joe were. Creeping through the trees, Adam caught a glimpse of them; they were only twenty feet away, he could see and hear them fairly clearly. His breathing hitched as he saw his younger brothers for the first time in five years.

Joe stood on top of the wooden frame of the shack they were constructing, rope in hand, ready to haul up the thick, heavy plank Hoss had cut and was attaching to the other end of the pulley. Adam blinked as he realised what they were doing; they were building the line shack he'd designed about a year ago. Ben had explained in one of his letters about the damage done to the existing one in a storm, and Adam had wasted no time in replying with advice and a plan for a new one. He was surprised it still wasn't finished.

Hearing Hoss begin talking again pulled Adam out of his reverie. Peering around the tree he watched his brothers hard at work. Part of him urged him to rush out, announce his presence, but he was still a little unsure if he was welcome, so he held back, observing.

"There you go Little Joe" Hoss emphasised as he finished tying off the wood, signalling Joe to pull it up where he would begin nailing it as part of the roof. Gripping the rope tight in his grasp, Joe threw his weight back, bracing his foot against an existing beam as he hauled up the wood.

"Why aren't you doing this job?" Joe called out to Hoss, through gritted teeth as he strained his muscles.

"Because you lost the bet, fair and square little brother!" Hoss smiled, as he began chopping another piece of wood.

"Lousy, good-for-nothing bet." Joe grumbled to himself.

Adam watched the scene unfold, a warm glow in his chest; they hadn't changed one bit, they were still the same old Hoss and Joe, he thought with a smile. Suddenly he saw the plank slip lower. Joe was still working hard, pulling at the rope, almost ready to tie it off and detach the wood. So focused on his task, Joe had failed to notice the tearing strands of rope, which ripped with every pull of the rope. Watching as Hoss returned to collect the sanding tool from where he'd dropped it when attaching the plank, time slowed down for Adam. The rope was taut with the weight, about to snap as the final strands frayed. Joe was still pulling on it, and Hoss was stooped, retrieving the equipment, unaware of the danger he was in.

Seeing his brother in harm's way Adam leapt into action, covering the metres between them in seconds as he sprinted, barrelling into Hoss. He knocked him aside as the beam came crashing to the ground as the rope completely severed, sending up a cloud of dust. Joe was sent tumbling backwards as the counterweight disappeared, landing with a thud on the wooden platform, the now useless rope still clutched in his fingers.

Dazed, Hoss coughed, batting his arms in front of his face, trying to work out what had happened. Hearing someone beside him, he turned to thank his rescuer. The man was pushing himself up to standing, his back turned.

"Well thanks stranger, I…" Hoss's words died on his lips as Adam turned around.

With a wry smile, Adam just couldn't resist. "I know we Cartwright's have hard skulls but I doubt they'd win against a beam this size!"

Hoss just sat there in the dirt, mouth agape as he watched his long absent brother hold out his hand.

"Hoss? Hoss! Are you alright?" Joe yelled, still up on the roof, worried for his brother.

"I'm fine Joe!" Hoss called back, his eyes never leaving Adam's, as he accepted Adam's help up. "You might wanna come down here for a minute though." Speaking to Adam, he continued, "Adam, doggonit, what're you doin' here?! I thought you were in Australia, or somewhere…I…" Suddenly he let out a great, booming laugh, as he pulled Adam into a hug. "Couldn't you have announced yourself a little less violently!?"

"It's good to see you too Hoss," Adam replied, with a laugh of his own.

Pulling out of the embrace Hoss still couldn't take his eyes off Adam. Adam was overjoyed; Hoss was happy to see him. His face was alight with the joy of being reunited.

"Does Pa know you're here?" Hoss asked eagerly.

"Does Pa know who's here?" Joe interrupted as he rounded the corner of the shack, brushing off the dirt from his clothes. Lifting his head, he saw Adam stood next to Hoss. He froze in his tracks, his eyes wide; he was stunned.

"Hey Joe," Adam greeted with a smile, stepping forward towards his baby brother. Joe took a tentative step back with a slight shake of his head, before vanishing back around the corner of the shack, disappearing from sight. The smile slipped from Adam's face. This was just what he'd feared. Turning a questioning glance to Hoss, he saw a worried expression on his face. Not wanting to hear the reason behind Joe's reaction, he hurried to follow Joe, desperately hoping the bond he'd forged with Joe over the years hadn't been broken during his recent absence. He saw Joe leaning despondently against the wooden wall, his head lowered.

"Joe?" Adam ventured.

Joe's head snapped up, his eyes blazing with such emotion. "What?" he demanded harshly, causing Adam to gasp, his heart breaking a little, unaware that his kid brother's heart was also on the verge of shattering.

"I'm sorry Joe," Adam whispered. He saw the surprise flicker in Joe's eyes; Adam hardly ever apologised to him first or without prompting. "I'm sorry I was away so long, but…I'm here now...I'm back…" he finished lamely. He didn't know what to say. He was usually so good with words, but faced with the possible end to his relationship with Joe left him floundering.

"Yeah," Joe replied, but his voice had lost its edge, being replaced with a more vulnerable tone, despondent almost. "But for how long?"

So that was it. It wasn't that he wasn't happy to see his oldest brother, but rather that he was scared Adam would leave again; he'd open his heart once more, only to leave himself open to hurt if Adam ever left again. Adam closed his eyes against Joe's pain and his own. He knew his leaving had hurt his family but he hadn't realised just how much Joe had been hurting, he'd always sounded so cheerful in his letters.

He wished he could explain to Joe, make all the pain go away. Opening his eyes he sniffed, taking in the picture of his brother before him, who looked uncannily like he did all those years ago when he returned from college. Feeling Hoss's solid presence behind him, Adam knew what he had to do. He wasn't a naturally physically demonstrative man, but this was Joe and he knew all the words under the sun wouldn't ease Joe's worries, so instead Adam slowly walked over to his brother, pulling him into a tight hug, his hand on the back of Joe's neck, holding him close.

"For good" Adam whispered.

He felt Joe relax against him, returning his embrace; a soft sigh escaped his kid brother's lips, as he heard Adam's quiet declaration that he was home, to stay. Coming to join his brothers, his eyes glistening, Hoss rested a hand on their shoulders.

"Welcome home, Adam."

Pulling back, Joe flashed Hoss a grin, his eyes dancing. "Told you he'd come back!" he teased, causing them all to laugh.

* * *

Adam spent the remainder of the day helping to build the shack, listening to Hoss and Joe's stories and regaling them with a few of his own. He was surprised but delighted at how quickly and easily he fell back into his role within the three of them. He'd half-expected a fight for the 'older brother' status, but everything just fell in place. He felt totally at ease with his brothers; nothing had changed between them and for that he was eternally grateful.

* * *

"You alright Adam?" Hoss queried, clapping his brother on the back.

"Yeah," Adam replied, wiping the sweat from his forehead, as he stopped to catch his breath.

"What's the matter big brother? Getting soft in your old age?" Joe taunted, as Hoss handed him the canteen.

"I'll show you old age!" Adam growled as he darted after Joe, who skipped out of reach, laughing that infectious laugh of his. It was true though, the ranch work tired him out quicker than it used to, although that was to be expected. Adam knew he'd be back on form in a matter of weeks; if he wasn't Joe would never let him live it down, he thought with a smile.

"You know, your timing's impeccable Adam." Joe stated when their antics stopped.

"Oh really?" Adam raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Don't you know what day it is?" Hoss asked, around a mouthful of jerky, surprised. "It's Pa's birthday."

"That's today?" Adam exclaimed. He'd had no idea. "I didn't realise it was that time already!" What with all the preparation to leave and then travelling, he had lost track of trivial things such as the date. He couldn't believe it. Joe was right, talk about perfect timing! The desire to see his Pa and be completely reunited with his family grew. "Is Pa at the ranch?"

"Hmm? Oh no, I accidentally-on-purpose made it so Pa had to go into Virginia City for the day," Joe laughed. "He wasn't too happy about it, but we needed to get him out the way so we would have time to make him a birthday cake."

"Yeah," Hoss agreed. "Speakin' of which, we probably should be gettin' back if we want to get it finished in time."

"You know, Pa's gonna be so happy to see you. Gonna be the best birthday present ever for him to have you home!"

Adam smiled, hoping that would be the case.

Quickly they cleared up before returning to Adam's camp. Packing up his gear, they all mounted up, making their way back to the ranch.

Joe twisted round in his saddle to face his brothers, a wicked glint in his eye.

"Last one back's on mucking out duty!" he called as he kicked Cochise into action, galloping away.

Laughing Adam followed suit, urging his horse forward, chasing Joe. "Oh no you don't!"

Rolling his eyes Hoss couldn't stop a chuckle escaping from him; he was so glad Adam was home. They were whole again. Following his brothers, he rode hard to catch them up.

* * *

They entered the kitchen with Hoss good-naturedly grumbling at losing the race; the carefree laughing faces of his brothers made it worthwhile though. Adam sighed as he took in the familiar sight of home; it was just as he remembered it, right down to the faint scent of pine. Clapping his hands together, Adam instinctively took charge.

"OK, so we need eggs, flour, butter, sugar and water."

To both Hoss and Adam's amazement Joe jumped to and began gathering up all the items as Adam collected the required utensils and Hoss started mixing. When Joe had finished, he began hovering around the kitchen.

"Joe, stop floating about. Do something useful." Adam scolded.

"Well you haven't given me something to do older brother!" Joe jibed as he dipped his finger in the cake mix, scooping it into his mouth. "Mmm this is good!" he exclaimed, reaching out for some more.

"Joe," Adam tutted, batting his hands away. "If you keep doing that they'll be none left for the cake. Here." Adam handed him a pile of dirty bowls. "Why don't you wash these up."

"Fine," he grumbled, as he watched Hoss go back to stirring the mix. "Hey!" he exclaimed as he saw Hoss take a sneaky taste of his own.

"What?" Adam asked, turning around.

Hoss flashed his most innocent looking smile, as Joe scowled. "Nothin'" he mumbled, before starting on the dishes.

Once that was done, Adam and Joe began work on the butter cream icing, as Hoss finished heating it all up, leaving behind another batch of dirty washing up.

"Suppose somebody had better clean up this mess," Hoss groaned.

"Not yet," Adam smiled, remembering something Marie had done when she taught him to bake cakes. He held out the now almost-empty mixing bowl and spoon. "Who wants first taste?"

"Me!" Hoss exclaimed, picking up the spoon, about to finish off the residue cake mix. But before he got the chance Joe snatched the spoon from him, jamming it into his mouth.

"Joe!" Hoss yelled, turning, chasing his laughing younger brother around the kitchen. Running round behind Adam, Joe shielded himself.

"Help me, big brother!"

Adam laughed, "No chance! You brought this on yourself, _baby brother_."

In an attempt to keep Hoss away, Joe reached behind him, picking up the first thing he found, hurling it at Hoss. The egg hit Hoss squarely in the chest, leaving behind a sticky mess. Joe gulped, he was in for it now. Hoss growled, responding in kind, grabbing a handful of flour, throwing it in Joe's direction. The white cloud covered Adam however, tarnishing his black clothes a lighter grey. So that was how it was? he thought with a smirk. Adam wasted no time in finding the second bag of flour, tackling Hoss to the floor, raining flour down on him. Joe chuckled, enjoying having his brother back and being so playful. Laughing he dove into the fray, smearing butter cream onto everything he touched whether it be brother or furniture, as cloud after cloud of flour kept exploding over the scrap, causing them all to cough and laugh at the same time. Pulling Joe off Hoss, Adam pushed him across the flour covered floor, sending him colliding into the table leg, causing bowls, cutlery, utensils to come crashing down around him. Seeing Adam distracted Hoss took the opportunity to pour water over Adam's back, drenching him, causing Adam to cry out in shock as cold water seeped through his clothes. Joe's hysterical laugh could just be heard over all the commotion and 'fighting'.

Suddenly Hoss froze. "Shh, quiet!" he shouted. When Joe and Adam quietened down, Hoss hissed, "Listen!"

Sure enough they heard Ben's voice.

"Whoa Buck! Good boy."

A shocked, panicked expression crossed each face.

"It's Pa!" Joe needlessly whispered.

"He's back early!"

"What're we gonna do!?"

The kitchen was an absolute state, and the three of them weren't much better. Quickly they all scrambled to their feet. They heard the front door open; they all froze, eyes wide. Not only did they not want the surprise of the cake and Adam's return to be spoiled, they dreaded to think of the lecture they would receive if Ben found them in the middle of the mess they'd made. Adam felt his stomach do a familiar flip-flop, and he couldn't help but smile. It'd been a long time since he'd felt like a little kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar! How did his Pa do it, and he wasn't even in the room!?

Thinking quickly Adam pushed Joe towards the kitchen door.

"Quick, go, stall him!" he hissed, hurriedly trying to wipe his face clean from the flour.

"Why me?" Joe exclaimed indignantly in a hushed voice.

"You're not as dirty as us." Adam replied calmly, his eyes twinkling as he continued to brush the flour of Joe's clothes. Hoss took the spoon from Joe's hand.

"Hello?" They heard Ben's voice from the living room.

"You owe me one!" Joe whispered as Adam and Hoss pushed him out the door.

* * *

Joe stumbled into the living room almost colliding with the table. At the noise Ben whirled around, his back to the fireplace. Flustered Joe ran a hand through his hair.

"Hey, Pa. You're back early."

Joe winced as he heard a clatter come from behind him, but luckily Ben didn't seem to notice. Joe could almost imagine the stricken faces of his brothers in the kitchen as the crockery tumbled to the floor.

"Yes, it was all sorted out much quicker than I expected. The seller was so eager to get rid of the property we didn't have much negotiating to do," Ben smiled. "I'm bone-weary though. I think I'm gonna make a cup of coffee," he stated, making his way towards the kitchen.

Jumping into his path Joe held out his hands to stop him, guiding him to his chair. "No, no, no." he stammered, in a squeaky voice, desperately thinking of a way to stop him entering the kitchen. "I…it's your birthday, you just relax. I'll go get it."

"But…" Ben began, beginning to rise.

"No buts." Joe emphasised as he scurried back to the kitchen.

He had to stifle a laugh as Adam and Hoss spun around, guilty expressions on both their faces. They looked a mess, clothes filthy, covered in flour, hair sticking up in all directions. Although the kitchen was much tidier. Seeing it was just Joe, they both relaxed; how did the thought of being caught by his Pa make him so jumpy? Adam thought wryly. Hoss bent back to the task in hand, frantically cleaning.

"He wants coffee." Joe whispered.

Adam passed over the pot, as Joe began to brew some.

"Joe?" Ben called. Again they all froze, hearts in their mouths. "Where's Hoss?"

Coffee pot in hand Joe turned to Hoss, miming, asking what he should say. Vehemently shaking his head, Hoss shrugged.

Joe called out, "I don't know. I think he went out." before hurrying out, casting his brothers a meaningful look.

Adam and Hoss stifled a chuckle as they heard Joe's overly cheerful voice.

"Here you are, Pa"

"Do you know when he'll be back?" Ben asked sipping his drink. "This is good Joe, thanks."

Joe smiled, "I'm not sure Pa. Shouldn't have thought he'd be much longer though."

"Oh good," he sighed, setting down his cup. "I want my boys with me on my birthday." he stated with a smile. Joe nodded, watching as Ben's face fell a little. "I just wish your brother was here too. It's been so long. I'd hoped maybe this year we'd see him again. I guess it just wasn't to be. But…he hasn't sent a letter either; he doesn't usually forget my birthday."

Joe felt the sadness radiating from Ben, a sadness Joe understood all to well, but he had to fight to keep his face straight, restraining a smile, knowing Adam was in the next room. Hearing Ben's words Adam's heart skipped a beat. The clear, rich tones of his father's voice were so familiar to him, the sound of home, even more than the sounds of the ranch. He wanted to tell him now he was home, take away the sadness in Ben's voice, but he held himself back. Stick to the plan he thought, just a few more minutes. He heard Joe continue.

"I'm sure he didn't forget Pa. I know he'd love to celebrate your birthday with you. I bet he's thinking of you right now." Unable to hide his smile any longer he ducked his head. "Wait here Pa, I'll be back in a minute."

* * *

Running into the kitchen, Joe was surprised to find it nearly as good as new, the finished birthday cake in all its glory placed on the table. Adam and Hoss had done a surprisingly good job at cleaning themselves up too.

"All set?" Joe asked, placing a hand on Adam's shoulder, knowing he would have heard Ben's words.

"Yes" he nodded, carefully picking up the cake, as Hoss and Joe returned to the living room.

Looking up Ben saw Hoss. "Oh hi, son. Did you just get back?"

"Sure did Pa" Hoss smiled. "Just sorting out a birthday surprise for you."

"What?" Ben exclaimed with a half-laugh, as he stood. "You boys gave me my gifts this morning."

"This one's extra special Pa" Joe beamed, unable to control himself.

Shooting his youngest son a confused look, he smiled slightly, his sons' obvious joy infectious. "Oh?"

Hoss nodded, "Yeah, Pa. Close your eyes."

Checking Ben did as he was told Joe beckoned to Adam to enter. Adam's heart was pounding as he slowly walked into the room, birthday cake resting on his upturned palms. He held his breath as he saw Ben standing proud and tall in the middle of the room, eyes closed waiting for whatever the boys had planned. Adam felt his eyes beginning to sting with tears, it was his Pa. Feeling Hoss's gentle hand on his back, Adam walked further into the room, trailed by his brothers.

"Boys?" Ben asked, confused at the long silence.

Adam took a deep breath as he stood directly in front of Ben, mere metres away.

"Happy Birthday Pa." Adam said, his voice catching on the words.

Ben gasped. That voice, he knew that voice. His eyes snapped open, widening at the sight of his firstborn. His son, it was his Adam.

"Adam?" he whispered in shock.

Adam smiled, "HiPa. I've come home."

"Son," Ben breathed in disbelief as he closed the gap between them, clutching his boy to him, tears rolling unashamedly down his cheeks. Joe quickly took the cake from Adam so Adam could return the embrace. "I've missed you son."

"I've missed you too Pa."

Draping an arm round Joe's shoulders Hoss beamed at the sight.

Pulling back, but still keeping a hand on Adam's shoulder, Ben's face was a picture of complete happiness, which was mirrored in each Cartwright face. Normally so eloquent Ben was speechless. He couldn't believe it; the Cartwright family was whole again. In a rare display of emotion, Adam let the tears spill down his own face as he felt his heart being mended. He'd had an incredible adventure, but now he was home, and the last piece of his heart fell back into place, making it whole again, full to overflowing with love for his family. Hoss had been right; home was where the heart is.

"Come on Pa" Joe encouraged, "Cut the cake. Don't forget to make a wish!"

Glancing around at his sons who were circled around him and his cake, Ben smiled, shaking his head. "I don't need to make a wish son," he said quietly, taking in the sight of his three beloved sons, giving Adam's shoulder a squeeze. "I've got everything I want right here."


End file.
